Recommendations for Harmonization of Relations on Level of Types and Their Accentuations by Meged¶
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Introduction¶
People’s lives seldom transpire without love, but each person loves in his or her own way. The most talented in love are people with accentuated ethics; the most sensual are those whose ethics is tied together with sensing. This can be expressed as leading functions, as well as auxiliary ones. People with accentuated logical, rational functions seem colder in love, especially if they are connected with intuitive functions, that strengthen detached mental and spiritual views to the detriment of sensuality.
It is necessary to understand the main thing - that a person cannot love how you would like him or her to love. A person loves how he or she was designed by nature to love. You can accept his or her love for what it is or reject it, if such form of display of feelings does not please you. If you wish to reach harmony in feelings with the person whom you love, then try to study and understand what form of love he or she unconsciously awaits for and develop this form in yourself. As it is said “habit becomes one’s second nature”, thus the desired can, in due course, can become the real.
Forms of feelings and attitudes in many respects depend on accentuations of a person’s TIM. Accents of TIM, especially when they are strongly developed and atypical, can create significant deformation of types making them approach some other types. But when accents of type correspond to its leading functions (and this happens in typical cases for diagnostics when we deal with “pure” types), then there are no disagreements between person’s accentuated functions and those of the type. Besides, even for people with altered, non-standard types some typical TIM-forms of feelings and attitudes are expressed. This allows to make recommendations about the emotional fine-tuning to types in the form of the analysis of interaction of dual pairs. In case of strongly deformed types if they are considerably displaced aside other types, it is necessary to consider the given recommendations any more so much for the basic, initial type, how many for accented. So, for example, if at ILE there is a strong accent on strong-willed sensorike as it logik (and intuitively-touch subtypes, as well as types, do not happen), means such ILE is displaced to type SLE. In that case partner SEI displaced aside of type IEI, that is with the strengthened ethics and intuition is necessary to it.
Note
Editor’s note: For an explanation of forms of love (e.g. Filia, Analita, Storge) and their compatibility descriptions see Forms of Love: Ancient and Novel by Meged.
ENTp + ISFp : The Innovator and The Intermediary¶
ILE: Innovator¶
The combination of love Filia and Analita is typical for the INNOVATOR, which plays out as follows:
First, the INNOVATOR creates a certain ideal in his imagination that reflects his particular requirements from a partner. Then he closely inspects the object of his sympathies and searches in this person qualities that are attractive to him and would evoke his admiration and respect. This person should be: more intelligent, more beautiful, more kind, more talented than the others. At the same time, complete mutual understanding and sharing of views and convictions are also needed. With this, his partner shouldn’t demonstrate even a hint of own superiority, moreover, it is desirable that this persons recognizes INNOVATOR’s own unique talents and positive qualities.
The INNOVATOR needs a partner-friend, who, despite their equality in relations, will recognize his authority and his right to personal independence. It would be even better if such a partner could relieve him from household concerns and hassles, asking for help only on occasion, and the remainder of the time that he wouldn’t interfere and distract the INNOVATOR from his favorite involvements, even if these are just hobbies.
As the INNOVATOR has prevalence of the creative form of personality, he needs a harmonizer, who is able to undemonstratively and unobtrusively predispose him towards compromises, by means of diplomatic methods - from gentle caresses to emotional shake-ups, but without excess dramatism - so that things won’t come to a break-up of their relations. The INNOVATOR cannot stand routine and dislikes submitting to someone’s strong will. Skillful is absolutely necessary for him.
SEI: Intermediary¶
The INTERMEDIARY is inclined to forms of love of Eros and Mania. This is a sincere and caring person. His love - is a mix of erotic and soulful feelings. This kind of love is capable of forgiving much, forcing him to adapt to his partner and to adapt his partner to himself. The INTERMEDIARY can show understanding even if he doesn’t share the interests of the INNOVATOR.
Softening his partner with his own sensuality and tenderness, he can relax the INNOVATOR during his periods of crisis, and bring him enjoyment and pleasure. In exchange the INTERMEDIARY requires reciprocal help and support in everything, as himself he is somewhat lazy and disorganized. With the same qualities of his partner he is able to either reconcile or struggle with them.
The INTERMEDIARY needs a partner who, while making high demands of him and stimulating him towards self-development, nevertheless, makes some concessions under his fine-tuned emotional influence. The INTERMEDIARY, for whom harmonizing form of behavior is the prevalent one, knows how to not take things to a crisis point, and sacrifices much for the sake of his interesting and unpredictable partner. It satisfies him that the INNOVATOR to a greater degree makes intellectual demands instead of household ones.
Prolonged physical exertion - is not for the INTERMEDIARY. His care is most often shown in minor favors and services, in sympathy, in creation of comfort and conditions for work. He is attracted by love of the INNOVATOR, which presumes equality in everything and a uniform distribution of duties and responsibilities, and with other requirements the INTERMEDIARY will manage, so great is his desire to keep his partner. For this purpose the INTERMEDIARY at times resorts to such measures as jealousy. Teasing the partner, and even actually admiring and taking an interest in other people, the INTERMEDIARY usually is able to stop in time.
INTj + ESFj : The Analyst and The Communicator¶
ESE: Communiactor¶
For the COMMUNICATOR a combination of forms of love Mania and Eros is characteristic. Similarly to the INTERMEDIARY, this type of the person is meant for an enthusiastic, but not idealistic rather corporal and sensual kind of love. The COMMUNICATOR is cheerful, optimistic, and can endure a lot from the object of his feelings. Despite his emotionality and sensitivity, he is quite an imperous and strong character. Readily forgives and usually doesn’t hold grudges. Therefore, his ability to adapt and adjust his partner to himself (even a more stubborn one than the INNOVATOR) is greater than that of the INTERMEDIARY.
Besides this, the COMMUNICATOR it is very active and initiative-taking in business matters. He can, if necessary, take on a greater share of household responsibilities and issues. Even if their execution isn’t completely effective, the ANALYST may simply not give this any attention.
Erotic stimulus and recklessness of this passionate and persevering conqueror make him capable of many compromises for the sake of feelings. Not seldom does he become a victim of the uncontrollable and imperious desires. Only inherent to him cheerfulness and a sense of humor help him overcome all obstacles on the way to his goal, not taking close to heart neither the coldness nor even flat refusals of a partner - for as long as this person is of interest for the COMMUNICATOR. His belief in success and reciprocity does not run low even in the most hopeless situations. Only a deep disappointment in the qualities of a partner, which for him constitute the highest values (fidelity, decency, consistency, good manners, intelligence, etc.) can dampen the ardor of COMMUNICATOR.
If he manages to win over his partner, whom he has fallen in love with, he does not consider any formalities. His emotion and desire is so great that is makes him close his eyes to much. When this fervor passes, and the COMMUNICATOR starts to notice flaws of his loved one, the events develop as follows: if the partner does not become boring and predictable, he is valued, re-educated, but nevertheless adapted to. If he is completely obedient, but also, in many respects has disappointed the COMMUNICATOR, demands towards him increase, comparisons start of him to others, and even taking an interest in new objects of love with the same fervor and passion.
LII: Analyst¶
The ANALYST has a combination of forms of love Analita and Filia.
He is sufficiently uncompromising in relations, as a rational logical type, and puts interests of business above feelings, even to a greater degree than the INNOVATOR. These qualities leave traces and on his behavior in love, making him particularly independent and inaccessible. His requirements towards his partner are very principled in their nature, although due to inclination towards love Filia he doesn’t possess authoritativeness. He understands equality, first of all, as autonomy of partners, their independence, and only after that - as a commonality of interests.
To become liked by him and to correspond to his ideal is difficult enough. He is reserved and private, and not always states his wishes (for example that nobody should interfere with him living how he wants). He easily becomes disappointed in a person who doesn’t meet his requirements. What is needed is reckless passion of his life-loving and persevering dual, who is capable of many compromises to keep such an clever and serious partner.
The ANALYST, despite his external coldness, can temporarily take an interest in a partner. In such cases, he attributes to the object of his feelings those qualities without he cannot imagine his chosen person. In this he is helped by idealism of love Filia. However, when the first impulses of feelings cease and illusions dissipate, the ANALYST can leave the person who hasn’t justified his hopes without a regret. The one who wishes to keep the ANALYST will have to not only take on many household cares, but also share his interests, become his friend and the assistant in everything. His partner should give him free reign, not force him to anything, not be jealous, and not interfere with him calmly living his life.
ISTj + ENFj : The Inspector and the Instructor¶
EIE: Instructor¶
The combination of forms of love Mania and Agape make this type of person most dependent on the object of his feelings. He readily makes a connection and becomes bound to the object of his feelings, and is impressionable and vulnerable. At the same time, he can be capricious and whimsical and often unpredictable in his behavior. Therefore, love for this type of person happens most turbulently and often comes to an unsuccessful end, unless he happens to meet a partner who can tame his contradictory and inconsistent character, counterbalance his feelings, keep him away from extremes in statements and actions.
The INSTRUCTOR needs an attentive, calm, cold-blooded, strong and confident in himself person. His spiritual, idealistic passion so is great, that it makes him capable of many sacrifices for the sake of his loved one. He can put aside any formalities and reservations, even step over the law. For the sake of his chosen person he is capable of any feats, and even misconducts depending on his own moral foundations.
Despite frequent fluctuations in mood, contradictions of feelings and desires, the INSTRUCTOR is capable to forgive much to keep his loved person, but only until the feelings are strong. His love can be insistent, even at times obtrusive; it can sweep away all barriers on its way.
The INSTRUCTOR is capable of idolizing the object of his love for a long time, even not seeing and not having any hopes. He is able to have faith and to wait for long, if he has even small hopes for reciprocity. If the person has disappointed him, he is capable of radically changing his attitude towards him: he becomes derisively haughty, venomous and harsh, not having the forces to forgive his partner the crumbling of his illusions. Given an opportunity he will willingly take revenge on the one who has forced him to be disappointed and suffer, but will try to do it very subtly.
The INSTRUCTOR takes everything close to heart. He does not have sufficient sense of humor and confidence in himself that is inherent to COMMUNICATOR. Therefore, he is sometimes a little bit indecisive, aristocratically restrained, and takes a waiting position in love. But this lasts only until the object of his feelings gives him some hope for reciprocity. Then, it becomes difficult to restrain him or persuade him otherwise. He becomes capable of any risky acts, inventive, persevering, and unmatched in his skill to become irresistible, though his feelings are more spiritual, elevated, and less sexual, than those of COMMUNICATOR. With this he conquers his partner.
Having good artistic abilities, the INSTRUCTOR can exaggerate his feelings and sensitivity in the eyes of his partner, which he frequently uses to obtain reciprocity. If he is neglected during such moment, this can push him towards any reckless actions, even suicide.
LSI: Inspector¶
This type of the person combines rather harsh forms of love - Analita and Victoria, that makes him a rather principled and imperious partner.
The INSPECTOR is obstinate and demands that his loved person does not contradict him in that which he considers to be correct, but willingly takes his advice concerning methods of doing things, working, setting up his life, etc. He himself aspires to order and demands the same from his partner. While at this, he often uses old conventional methods, rejecting any innovations. His conservatism is unconquerable.
Being a sober realist, he seldom loses his head from love and does not respect easily available partners. Subconsciously he expects from them such heat of feelings that will take over his distrustfulness and coldness and provoke a reciprocal reaction. From common sympathy to deep feeling for the INSPECTOR lies a long path. However, resistance of object of love can ignite in him the passion of a hunter, owing to the presence of love Viktoria. In that case it, this externally undemonstrative person can show unexpected emotional reactions. He becomes generous, jealous, passionate, and even romantic. But this lasts only until the goal is reached, or until his partner disappoints him somehow. Even then he may try to patiently re-educate his partner, trying to make him approach his ideal. This is induced by love Analita.
The proprietary love Viktoria makes him a reliable, although also imperious partner. He, as an introvert, does not require many victories - one is sufficient, but the kind that is constantly supporting his confidence and awareness of his authority over the person whom he loves. Neglecting his authority leads to development of various complexes and makes him irritable. He is too much of a leader in his character, even if he seems soft and considerate in interaction at first place. And he is never happy with a person who wishes to control and manage him. He needs a partner who is yielding, pliable, vacillating, doubting, sacrificial, and passionate in display of his feelings. Then he can be lenient towards his partner’s emotional flare-ups, caprices and whims, knowing that last word still remains with him.
Jealousy in small doses stimulates him. The physical attraction to a partner often prevails over the spiritual, but he also has developed intellectual interests and it’s a good turn of events if common causes and interests bring him together with a partner. Otherwise together with him it is difficult to feel sincere comfort and completeness of mutual understanding, in spite of the fact that he can be very caring, hardy, and reliable partner in life.
Being very demanding of himself and of his partner is characteristic of the INSPECTOR. Therefore, he feels truly disappointed if his advice and remarks are not listened to and appreciated. In turn, he is readily to admit that he was wrong if his conversation partner manages to find the same logical argument that he usually uses as support. Claims and demands stated in emotional form without the weight of facts and proofs usually have no success, and can even be perceived as attempt to impose one’s will on him and to subordinate such staunch character as the INSPECTOR. In such cases, he can show strong resistance and even display aggression. With any business that the INSPECTOR becomes engaged in, he puts in a maximum of effort and diligence.
ESTp + INFp : The Leader and The Lyricist¶
SLE: Leader¶
Similar to the INSPECTOR, this type has a combination of Victoria and Analita forms of love. But the LEADER - is an irrational type, and consequently acts with less inhibitions in the sphere of feelings. He is more susceptible to external influences and less consecutive in his decision making than the INSPECTOR, and additionally he is an extrovert which makes him less constant in his feelings. Though the interests of business prevail over emotional interests for him, he can be very sentimental and romantic in displaying his feelings.
The LEADER is sufficiently initiative-taking in achieving what he wants. He is daring and active. Can be the first to admit his feelings for someone if he sees that he has chances of succeeding. Unfortunately, at times he makes a mistake, confusing the desired for the real. But this does not make him pull back and withdraw. Victoria draws him to new and new victories, while analita makes great demands of his chosen ones. He will consider his partners to be the culprits of his quite frequent disappointments, but not himself. He leaves his past partners without a regret, and as an active extrovert goes searching for new acquaintances. Feeling tired of the search of perfection, he finds consolation in his work, in his career, in improving his prosperity, and/or in wine.
In cases when he does find happiness in love, he can be a loyal partner, though often he cannot refuse himself in casual sexual contacts. In this case, he has to apply much effort into hiding them. Quarrels with his chosen person refresh his feelings and make them stronger, especially if in process he becomes convinced that his partner loves him very much. Feelings of pity towards his partner soften him, while the feeling of victory over his partner makes him happy and confident in himself. He likes capricious, whimsical, and coquettish partners who evoke the feelings of jealousy, but who prefer him over the rest. Not finding his ideal he can turn into a Don Juan, unless some large goal happens to involve and put him in strongly enough.
IEI: Lyricist¶
The combination of forms of love of Agape and Mania makes this type be very idealistic, impressionable, and dependent in love. Similarly to the INSTRUCTOR, this type has the same combination of forms of love, and can forgive much to the person who is dear to him. As an introvert, he is cautious in his actions and calmer in his feelings, and his makes him a more appeasable partner, which compliments his dual who is not distinguished by tolerance. As well as at the previous pair, it is not the search for compromise between reason and feelings that prevails here, but more likely issues of authority and submission, which finds a strong reflection in their emotional relations.
LIRIK, as an irrational type that relies on destiny, is more optimistic and carefree than the INSTRUCTOR, but his weakness of will and capricious character quite often make LIRIK a toy in hands of a stronger partner, or even a victim of circumstances against which he finds it difficult to struggle. Therefore he is unconsciously attracted to strong personalities who are capable of protecting his interests. He is sufficiently observant, especially when it comes to another’s emotional state, and knows how to direct the feelings of his partner, taming his aggressive tendencies by both humility and unexpected resistance.
If LIRIK falls in love, this is for a long time. His love is gentle, poetical, sacrificing, patient; he is able to wait and hope for a long time, even not having any chances for success. Attraction often turns into obsession. Ability to idealize the object of his feelings is so great that it is difficult to disappoint the LIRIK. He can endure many insults and humiliations, can sacrifice much and reconcile with much, only to not lose hope for reciprocity.
Only a new ideal that is capable of replacing the previous one can distract him. If he doesn’t meet such an ideal, LIRIK, even having a good time with others, in his soul will recollect his first love. He will long for it, not being able to find a replacement of his favorite person. Only blatant practicalness and full indifference of the partner can kill his love.
If LIRIK’s love is reciprocated, he becomes soft, appeasable, gentle, and loyal partner. However, if he becomes bored, he can take an interest in other people for a short while. With this, it’s not a given than he will have any physical relations with them. However, evoking the jealousy of his partner by this he will renew their feelings. His caprices and whims will lead to quarrels, that most often will end with gentle reconciliations. Thus, for a long time he can keep and support the interest of his dual. An unfitting partner may not like this at all, and it may lead at all to undesirable consequences. But the LEADER such games intrigue and bond him to the LIRIK.
Besides the LEADER can often be sharp and rude. Frequently, he is insufficiently tactful and consequently is very much in need of a tolerant and lenient partner. The LIRIK is sufficiently peace-loving and does not hold ill memories and grudges for long. His softness, kindness, and serenity soften his somewhat aggressive partner, who does not tolerate moralizing and prefers to communicate with a person who understands and forgives his weakness.
INTp + ESFp : The Critic and The Politician¶
SEE: Politician¶
The POLITICIAN has a combination of forms of love Viktoria and Storge. This makes him a personality that easily takes and interest and becomes involved, both imperious and tender at the same time. Extroverted form of love Viktoria imparts on him traits of a conqueror, requiring new victories, and the more often, the less the objects of his feelings resist his emotional pressuring.
The POLITICIAN attributes much values to the physical side of love, and is in need of a variety of sexual sensations. At the same time, he can be very bonded to his selected person, if this choice does not disappoint him as a whole. But he will always find his chosen one to be somehow insufficient, as his imperious nature demands that everything should be done as he considers it necessary.
He can view his partner as his possession, and love him with gentle family love - Storge, keeping fidelity and preferring him to all the rest. Even if he decides to be disloyal, in most cases it’s of little significance. Unless the new partner in every respect surpasses his former love. Then the POLITICIAN literally loses his head, begins dashing side-to-side, feeling torn apart between two people whom he can love simultaneously yet differently. Eventually, he chooses a partner who is more beneficial and convenient to him, in that area which is of greatest value to him. This may be his personal independence, family and children, living space, material income and prosperity, sincere soulful comfort, and so on.
He needs a vacillating, doubting, critically-minded partner whom it is necessary to win over. If the victory turns out to be easy, he may become bored, plunge into doubt, and take an interest in someone else, then start to fork or branch-out to different sides. This is a very complex, whimsical, and inconsistent in his feelings and actions person. He can give a lot of happiness while he loves, as well as become intolerable if he is disappointed or falls in love with someone else. The CRITIC with his sober realism calms down his mad erratic partner and returns him back to the family and to habitual duties. But he does this measuredly, unostentatiously, unobtrusively, not provoking counter-actions of POLITICIAN that are natural to him in such cases.
ILI: Critic¶
The combination of forms of love Agape and Pragma makes the CRITIC be very steady and stable in his emotional attachments. Sacrificial tendencies and a healthy dose of common sense stabilize his behavior in love. The fact that he is somewhat capricious, whimsical, and stubborn make him sufficiently interesting for his dual. The CRITIC is inclined to doubt everything, even his own feelings. His feelings need to be earned and deserved constantly. Such a challenge captures and for a long time keeps the attention of the POLITICIAN.
It is difficult for them to become bored with each other, as the POLITICIAN is given to extremes, and the CRITIC does not entertain this and does not spare his eloquence to keep his erratic partner away from committing rash actions. Sacrificial traits of the CRITIC flatter the vanity of the POLITICIAN, who needs emotional leadership over others, which provides for a sense of his own exclusiveness and indispensability.
Healthy pragmatism of the CRITIC helps him find methods to make a union with a partner be most beneficial, while a break-up - least painful. By word and deed, as well as ability to patiently wait, the CRITIC holds back and retains his partner. Due to his wisdom and ability to correspond to many requirements of the POLITICIAN, the CRITIC over time becomes simply indispensable and irreplaceable for his dual.
The POLITICIAN may have on the side, but the CRITIC does not delve deeply into them and ignores such entertainments, or simply doesn’t not suspect anything. In the most extreme case, a quarrel and the subsequent persuasions of the POLITICIAN put everything in its place. The CRITIC is often cold in the emotional and sexual attitudes towards his partner. This promotes the inconstancy of the POLITICIAN, but it also never engenders the feelings of satiation, which would have been more detrimental to their union. While the spirituality and moral cleanliness of the CRITIC make the POLITICIAN feel tormented by remorse and predispose him to relative constancy in a relationship.
The form of display of feelings for CRITIC is Agape, which gives his relationships a shade of the elevated and the sublime. This is not readily evident at first look due to the pragmatism of this type, but it becomes evident in a long-term relationship. The CRITIC does not tolerate crassness and vulgarity, though at times he himself is lacking in tact, and is able to make other people respect him. Such a partner constantly intrigues the POLITICIAN, who is inclined to familiarity in dialogue, and by that keeps him interested. In addition to this, the CRITIC is inclined to show obstinacy which gives the POLITICIAN an opportunity to show his diplomatic abilities. As a result, both don’t feel bored in these relations.
ENTj + ISFj : The Experimenter and The Keeper¶
LIE: Experimenter¶
Similarly to the CRITIC, the EXPERIMENTER also has a combination of forms of love Pragma and Agape, but as the extrovert he aspires for new impressions. Due to this, the EXPERIMENTER is less constant in his feelings and more unpredictable in his behavior than the CRITIC. He needs strong and stable in his attachments person, who could softly but confidently hold him within the framework of family and focus him on performing his family duties.
If the EXPERIMENTER’s idealistic feeling Agape prevails in his relations with a partner, he is inclined to sacrifice his spiritual and sexual interests for the sake of family life.
Interests of business for him always prevail over emotional condition, and for their sake he can refuse to himself in rest, leisure time, and even happiness to be with those who are dear to him.
Contradictory but optimistically oriented, the EXPERIMENTER often cannot himself understand his feelings. The more readily he directs his attention to the daily activities and cares. Mobile and resourceful, he often combines in his life romantic love on the side and performance of matrimonial duty. With this, he prefers fleeting, noncommittal, and non-obliging connections. Such relations don’t complicate his life and don’t take away a lot of his time, which he prefers to devote to resolving business matters. But if he experiences a true feeling, he can be a loyal partner through life, capable of forgiving much to his partner, of adapting to his character and even softening him with his cheerful nature.
He is inclined to idealize those whom loves and to exaggerate the flaws and deficiencies of those in whom he’s disappointed. If love visits him at a time when he is already in a married union, for the sake of keeping his family’s well-being he can become a real actor in life. It is difficult for him to make a final decision, to make someone unhappy. He prefers that this decision is made by one of his partners, whoever turns out of be less patient.
However his life folds, he will always find an outlet in any employment, affairs, and hobbies. To decide to break off relations he can only in the event that his partner makes his life intolerable. After all he is a logical type who lives more by reason than by heart, and his sacrifice is shown in his actions and engagements rather than in his relationships. As an extrovert, it is e
ESI: Keeper¶
The combination of forms of love Storge and Viktoria in the most steady, introverted form makes the KEEPER a reliable friend and a good family member. However, being internally imperious and strong personality, he is not inclined to forgive betrayals. His Viktoria - is a victory in love for entire life. Cheating - is a defeat, with which he cannot reconcile. He reserves the right to take revenge to himself: punishment of former partner by separation - this becomes his last victory.
The KEEPER is conservative in his habits. He does everything possible for preservation of his family, thus he breaks off relations only as a last resort. For him it is difficult to make the decisive step, but, having made it, he is irreversible in his decision. Persuasions have little effect on him, since he is mistrustful and somewhat paranoid. Exceptions are made in those cases when he sees that a similar mistake from the partner will not repeat again.
The KEEPER’s inner character is replete with internal conflicts and hidden problems. If for him Storge prevails, he is stubborn and principled. The KEEPER is kind, tender, and yieldng … but only in small things. In the main thing he is unshakable. Family occupies the first place for him, and if his partner does not meet his expectation, he will show the type of love Victoria, demonstrating his adamancy. The willpower manifests undemonstratively, and much he does exactly as he wants it.
The EXPERIMENTER needs exactly such partner. Such partner corresponds to his pragmatic understanding of family duty. With his hard work, diligence, and economy the KEEPER creates the necessary comfort for home life. He has an uncompromising attitude and enough will power to keep the EXPERIMENTER from committing thoughtless acts. Besides this, he can be so caring and attractive, that the principle “from good one does not seek good” starts to operate.
By his words the KEEPER is able to make his partner value his and cherish his good attitude. In his turn, he appreciates hard working and yielding attitude of his dual, his ability to discharge a tense situation with a joke, to distract from troubles and problems by switching attention to something else. The KEEPER willingly takes on improvement of his family’s well-being together with the EXPERIMENTER. In such a case, the EXPERIMENTER will simply not have any time left for external romantic adventures, and their common cares and concerns will pull together them even more.
ESTj + INFj : The Manager and The Humanist¶
LSE: Manager¶
Externally stern and business-like, this sociotype combines inclination for two contrasting forms of love: Pragma and Eros: ice and fire, sober calculation and a passionate attraction make him a rather contradictory person. He prefers to live by reason instead of following the call of feelings. The interests of business for him often prevail over feelings, and even over the pleasure of being with and communicating with a favorite person. However periodically for his senses he throws entire holidays.
This is a caring and reliable partner. He does everything possible for those whom he loves. His partner can feel a deficiency in compliments and verbal expression of feelings, but the MANAGER proves his love in practice, taking on the lion’s share of all cares, and can be quite satisfied if his partner takes part in common activities and carries out tasks that require only attention and patience.
He needs a partner-helper, who won’t try to impose his will and methods, or dictate conditions to him. The MANAGER could be absolutely dry, imperious, and exacting person if he wasn’t softened with presence of sensual form of love - Eros. Being inclined towards this kind of emotional behavior makes him at times very romantic and magnanimous towards the object of his feelings.
He is capable of being loyal to his partner if he/she are acceptable to him as a sexual partner or if he values such life partner for practical reasons. His feelings can glow brightly and for a long time, though healthy pragmatism is not alien to them. In the absence of reciprocity, he is capable, being guided by feeling of a duty, of refusing the new attraction. He often subordinates his erotic feelings to Pragma, though can for a long time recollect his former love.
EII: Humanist¶
The combination of diplomatic Storge and inventive Filia make the HUMANIST an ideal partner in life for the MANAGER, who is quite a difficult partner in love. On the one hand, the HUMANIST allows for the MANAGER to be the head of the family, and on another hand - he demands understanding and respect for his interests from his partner. The HUMANIST carefully watches for any differences in views and opinions with his partner, his way of conduct in relation to people around him, his attitudes towards upbringing of children, his plans for the future, and in everyday chores and affairs.
Together with form of love of Storge - a loyal family love - such manifestation of love Filia cements his union with the quick-tempered, proud, and imperious MANAGER even more. The HUMANIST like no one else is able to find an approach to his dual. In a dispute he is able to restrain himself and not say anything unnecessary in the heat of the moment. Instead, the HUMANIST expresses his disappointments and grievances in such a form, that his partner feels ashamed for his incorrect behavior and statements. With this, sorting out of relations does not end with a quarrel, but with a reconciliation or promises to review and amend one’s behavior.
Patience, diplomacy, sensitivity and care are inherent to the HUMANIST, but he is guileless with those whom he loves and prefers to speak the truth or to be silent. His love Storge aspires to happy harmonious family life that would be full of kindness and mutual concessions. Only not one-sided! The HUMANIST - is not a sacrificing sociotype. If he permits his partner to direct and supervise him in practical matters, due to his low fitness in face of difficulties, absence of push-through qualities, and insufficient confidence in himself, this does not mean that he will allow his partner to pass that line that separates caring friend from heartless dictator.
The HUMANIST spends much of his soulful and personal efforts on re-education of his partner, bringing him closer to an ideal. However, if the partner does not wish to compromise and does not listen and agree to his persuasions, the HUMANIST can terminate their union. The MANAGER is oriented at creation of a strong family: if he feels such a threat, he will do everything possible to improve their relationship.
The spiritual side of love for the HUMANIST means much more to him than the erotic side. In addition he is somewhat reversed and consequently needs an initiative-taking partner who actively shows his desires. In love the HUMANIST is restrained, mistrustful, and observant. The slightest deviation in the behavior of a partner is received painfully by him, and the HUMANIST applies his best efforts to keep reciprocity in feelings. Even if for the sake of this it is necessary to show offense and alienation. A repenting dual the HUMANIST forgives and tries to never remind or bring up the reason of their disagreements again.
The MANAGER poorly tolerates talk of personal questions, and especially any sorting out of relations. Because of this, he is inclined to arrive at hasty conclusions and make ethical mistakes, which complicate his relations with other people around him. Lack of patience and endurance make him sharp and tactless at times, as he does not have enough not only of diplomacy, but also of self-criticism. This is why he needs patience and kind persistence from the HUMANIST, with which the HUMANIST tactfully and consistently re-educates his hot-tempered dual. The HUMANIST takes on not only the role of a mentor, but he constantly influences the conscience of the MANAGER, who is quite sensitive and not a stranger to high moral principles.
ISTp + ENFp : The Master and The Inspirer¶
IEE: Inspirer¶
Similarly to the Humanist, the INSPIRER has a combination of forms of love Filia and Storge.
Here, Filia prevails and defines INSPIRER’s inclination to harmonious life only in the event that he feels full spiritual closeness with his partner. Unlike the HUMANIST, this is a passionate, gusty, unrestrained in his emotions person. As an ethical type and as an extrovert, he is very interested in new people. Therefore, his partner needs to be sufficiently competitive to keep the attention of such inordinary and restless life partner for a long time.
The INSPIRER - is a big romantic and can stay in captivity of his illusions for a long time. He can idealize his love and its object so strongly, that he can keep loyal to his ideal for a long time, even when not having any hopes for reciprocity. However, meanwhile he won’t sit still with his hands folded. He will try to win over the mind, the soul, and if needed the body of the person who for his represents the supervalue, and will do so until he achieves reciprocity. If he becomes disappointed in his ideal, he deeply and strongly feels this.
At times, he lacks in common sense and is capable of making rash actions and following the lead of his feelings. At the same time, due to presence in his emotional behavior a component of love Storge, he tries to spare people close to him and not cause any complications in their life. He is so seeped with empathy that for the sake of well-being of others can sacrifice his own interests.
The INSPIRER is poorly adapted to life and is in need of care, attention, sensitivity, protection, support and patronage of a more realistic, practical, and quick in everyday matters person. But he does not tolerate when he is being ordered around rudely, when something is imposed on him, when he is made to suffer. In such cases, he instinctively gains distance from such a partner who causes him to suffer.
He is not capable of feeling jealous and competing with possible contenders for long. He won’t try to impose himself and insist on reciprocity, if he feels that he is not valued and cherished. Due to inclination towards love Filia, he strives towards equality in everything, and if someone is of much value for him, then he just as well has to be outside of competition for his partner. Otherwise, the other side of love relations Storge will not develop.
The INSPIRER is oriented at honest relations and with difficulty perceives deception in any form, thus his partner needs to be loyal and truthful. For the INSPIRER, as well as for the HUMANIST, the spiritual side of love is very important, but he places greater importance on the erotic relations. Absence of initiative from his partner makes him doubt the fullness of his partner’s feelings.
The INSPIRER is capable to transforming love into a poem, to make it the purpose of his life, but he can suddenly become disappointed in his partner, not finding full reciprocity, or if he does not meet his high ethical requirements. This makes him an unpredictable partner.
SLI: Master¶
The MASTER unites two extreme form of love Eros and Pragma and as no one else is capable of giving his partner everything that is necessary for family happiness. From erotic pleasure, strong sensual and spiritual attraction - up to stability and reliability in person life, full of sensitive care, attention, and mutual aid in everything. Unlike the MANAGER, he has less pragmatism and greater aspiration towards harmonious relations with his partner.
The MASTER cares for the soulful comfort of people who are close to him. He is usually constant in his emotional attachments and somewhat restrained in his actions and his statements. Worries a lot and feels upset if he inadvertently offends someone. However, he’s not always capable of admitting his fault right away. The conservatism of love Pragma make him a sufficiently difficult partner, but he willingly tries to attain an agreement with a person dear to him and aspires to restore lost harmony if he sees that this desire is mutual. Love Eros makes him forgive much to his selected person, but the other feeling - Pragma watches that these misdeed don’t go beyond the framework of the permissible.
The MASTER is very restrained in display of feelings, but his mask of coldness conceals his much greater sensuality. He is oriented at strong and harmonious relations, that only two suitable forms of love can give - Storge and Pragma. He is also ready to share the interests of his partner and together with him to reach the necessary spiritual closeness necessary for full harmony in relations, which for this dual pair - is the main value in life. Both partners actively aspire to this.
Trying to be in everything the way that everyone loves and respects, the exacting MASTER aspires to personal growth and development. By this he becomes competitive enough to endure through the constant comparisons with other, new people. Besides this, the MASTER loves passionately and sincerely, although not openly for the extraneous eyes. He is able to waken the sensuality of the INSPIRER who often doubts his sensual desires and poorly recognizes them.
The INSPIRER at times seems to him as a whimsical child, teaching which with constant leniency and love - is only a pleasure. The MASTER does not like imperious and self-assured people. Their activity, even in the erotic sense, suppresses him and does not leave space for his own creativity. This realist, who too soberly looks at life, is complemented by the optimism of the eternal child-INSPIRER, who helps him avoid depression and despondency.
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