Duality Relations ISFp and ENTp by Stratiyevskaya

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Written by Vera Stratievskaya: original blog entry.
Automatic translation--needs further translation work.
See also Duality observations.

Communication on channels 1 - 5: Program functions Ne of ILE and Si of SEI

Program function (function goals and objectives) of ILE, "intuition of possibilities", "intuition prospects."
Don - Quixote - the ingenious inventor, tireless researcher, an optimist, a dreamer, a dreamer. Its mission - to generate ideas, develop projects, to open new horizons in science.

Program of SEI - "sensory experiences".
Dumas - down to earth realist, oriented to the most natural human values. Gorgeous family man, thrifty and economical. Its mission - to create for your Douala and "maturing" ideas most greenhouse conditions.

So Dumas can be not only the mastermind Don - Quixote, but great "to cover his rear." As practice shows, hardly once in a dual environment of comfort, Don - Quixote already beginning to generate ideas (ie their right to engage in business) - ponders his future occupation, makes the calculation of its future business, budget, etc.). For its part, adds Don Dumas - Quixote as a great mediator in all cases. It presents the flexible ethics and diplomatically sensitive "sensory experiences", which allows a very good feel of the interlocutor.

Of course such coherence does not occur immediately - it takes time and experience relationships to duals believe in each other, coordinated their policy values, developed general guidelines common tastes ...

- And tastes too? - Says Reader.
- Do not forget that in this aspect of the dyad "sensory experiences" - "soft" value, and therefore is of great importance for both partners.

For example, and Don - Quixote may be unhappy with the comfort that it creates Dumas: "She eternal blockages in the bathroom and in the kitchen ... And then, I do not like her cooking. "Herring under a fur coat," as far as I know, so do not do it. Anyway, my mom's cooking on - another ... "- here is an example of suggestibility Don. For him, the standard is what he used and what he brought. His tastes have been formed, they are important to him and to change them he was not going. - Well, it's the little things, you will think, "herring" ... And do not happen here any more serious complications for the programmatic aspect?
- Cases. And here is an example. In young dual pair (he - Don, she - Dumas) had some problems: their sexual relationship is not something that went wrong - have become too monotonous ...
- And sex - it is important, it is a manifestation aspect of sensory sensations ... programmatic aspects in this dyad.
- ... It is not surprising that the young husband very quickly felt a touch uncomfortable, worried and began to think about how to fix things. (That is, the program began to adjust its duala.) Hearing that in such cases, sexologists recommend changing partner, he was carried away (inspire) this idea and tried to convince my wife to try this "therapeutic agent".
- And his wife did not try to dissuade him?
- I tried, but it came to nothing lead, so she decided to let the spouse requests. Besides, she was sure of myself and believed that sufficient control of the situation.
- And how it went, "treatment"? - Ironically reader.
- For the wife - is easy and painless: nothing new for yourself and she opened her tastes have not changed. But her husband with a random partner began a very complex and problematic relationship ("relationship sotszakaza"), of which he was its own is no longer extricate himself.
- And it happens that Dumas inspired ideas and projects Don - Quixote?
- Often, but not everything here depends on the "suggestion" (suggestion). It happens that some of his projects duala Dumas estimates as unrealistic. It already includes the evaluation function Dumas - structural logic. If the projects Don - Quixote (software feature - "intuition of possibilities and prospects" do not correspond to the actual conditions or refuted actual facts - Dumas do not believe them. And has every right - he is a realist. And that it balances romance and visionary Don - Quixote.

Communication on channels 2 - 6

Relationships channel (2 - 6) (trial - realization function) Each dual dyad "aligned" for very long. It depends on how well the program is implemented and how it assesses partner. And since success here can alternate with setbacks - changes accordingly "evaluation" partner change and its relation to this aspect. Partner that is inspired, it becomes inert. (By the way that "evaluation" function it is also the "activation".)

- And as Don Quixote Dumas assesses emotion? (An aspect of "ethics of emotions) After this aspect also lies on channel 2 - 6?
- The channel (2 - 6), as already mentioned, formed the psychological distance partners. Therefore, emotionally aligned relationship is here for years, and especially in this dyad. Partners of alternate periods of emotional uplift, love with some periods of cooling and alienation. In addition, if Don - Quixote raising ethical issues, (and they usually start with the fact that it "puts" on the aspect of the "ethics of emotions" by inert - activation function), it loses the ability to control their behavior. Moreover, it may behave unpredictably: constantly annoyed by trifles, indulge in aggression; becomes overly frank, verbose and intrusive. And he is constantly experiencing a terrible embarrassment, remorse and shame. In such a situation it becomes absolutely necessary person capable of it patiently listen, understand, forgive, comfort, soothe, relax. And this is exactly what can perfectly handle his dual Dumas, provided that does not feel any emotional overload.

- What's that?
- Dumas by nature very calm and peaceful person. He is a very bad feeling in the atmosphere of hostility, stress and turmoil. Therefore, in a situation "with a random partner" wife was extremely difficult to listen to "confession" of her husband in all the intimate details. In addition, she was very afraid that this relationship can resume. In short, she had no way to create it in a good mood and emotional balance it. Not have the strength to implement its program.
- But this story have a happy ending?
- History "finished" again on an aspect of the disorder "sensory experiences" - all these experiences affected the health of his wife. It hurt a lot and for a long time, as a result of hormonal disorders very stout, so they were both not to sex - that is, they are back to the same problems.
- But Dumas is in its nature an "artist in love," why they had problems on the program function?
- Sexual problems in the couple began after their relationship went wrong channel (3 -7) and (4 - 8). And here's the kind of history:

Communication on channels 3 - 7 and 4 - 8

When - is hardly acquainted, this young couple very quickly and easily dualized. Already on the second day of dating they decided to get married. The first few years they have all been good, they lived peacefully and happily. All of them turned out, all problems were solved easily and successfully. In the short time they bought an apartment, a car, had a baby, her husband succeeded in business - that is, everything was wonderful. But one day the situation has changed dramatically: they moved to permanent residence close relatives of her husband. Total number - four. And one and all - representatives of the second quadra.

- And what's wrong with that?
- And the fact that the "second squared", she did not "moved" - it is implemented to overcome the resistance of the environment. Also, do not accidentally second quadrupole called "quadra violent bestow happiness" - they always impose their recipe "Family Happiness," which is sometimes reduced to the commandment: "let the wife fear her husband." That's really it does not fit into the peaceful, dual relationship of our heroes, where all based on equality, mutual respect and love. Thus, in their quiet and cozy, "pervokvadrovy" microcosm broke "vortices hostile" second quadra, with its cruel laws and authoritarian values.
- And how it affected our dual pair?
- And here's how: what passed - and while young husband to please parents began to "play the role of" husband - a tyrant. And this role is very carried away.
- That is, the beginning of "excesses" in his "role-aspect" aspect to "strong-willed sensory" ...
- ... He became the wife defiantly slight, overwork, and she has, of course, was not up to the "Arts" in bed. Worse, in their home started "willful" distribution of responsibilities: "You have to do what you have to do it." That is, in their dual pair established a completely unnatural relationship, the nature of Don nasty - Quixote. Normal, oriented to their natural values ​​Don - Quixote in principle does not accept this division of responsibilities - in his opinion, everyone has the right to do what he wants, what can and what it sees fit. And what usually happens in a harmonious dual dyads, but here the harmony was broken.
- What happened?
- Discord on its normative aspect was reflected on her role function (Channel 3 -7 aspect "intuition of time"), its troubled question of how long will this demonstrative tyranny? And how does this affect her relationship with her husband? Here's a "forecast" it became "request" for the future (and who is, and respond to it as not Don - Quixote!), A perennial plant conversation on the topic: "What will happen to us?" But received no reply - position them both seemed hopeless. Her husband, moreover, he considered disadvantageous to part with their relatives, and yet afraid to offend them (Don ethical problems - Quixote combined with demonstrative pragmatism (Channel 4 - 8). Relatives on the contrary - to feel themselves masters of the situation, began to actively intriguing tune young against each other.
- And what is the end of it?
- One day, my husband came home from work found no wife, no child, but found a note on the table, in which he was asked to either find a way to part with their relatives or to seek another wife.

That same evening, held an emergency meeting in the kitchen. Relatives realized that their "game" went too far, husband realized that strayed too far from their natural values. In short, during the day was found apartment for relatives, and everything fell into place. Wife returned to her husband, but in their relationship there was some estrangement ... - Which led to the disorder of their sexual relationship ...
- If only the fact that they were sleeping under different blankets (remembered as the young wife, it started with this disorder in their relationship - and the sexual and ethical ...)
- And this is essential!
- And how! Especially for duals. Because in this case the broken ties bioenergetic the vital level, which is particularly dangerous. On the mental level in duals can be all sorts of differences, but if we want to save the relationship, not destroy them, it must be vital soldered. And it needs to constantly feel physically intimate partner, especially during sleep, especially when the subconscious liberated.
- It turns out that double blanket - this medicine number 1.
- For duals - yes. And it is this "medicine" and was "spelled" Don - Quixote in order to bring it under the influence of "random partner." Physical intimacy Duala, his vital field - proved the best remedy for this.
- And why - the same dual partner so weak willed resisted pressure from her husband? Indeed, in this pair she is the sensation, so where is her willpower, where is it will sensorics?
- Her "volitional sensing" in their positions - the positions of inert, analytical, supervisory functions, which is also located at the ID - at the level of "reckless self-sacrifice."
- That is, its task is to "watch" and "sacrifice" themselves?
- Up to a certain point. Observation "will sensorics" Dumas is not designed for serious battles too - it's not her mode. It is designed for a maximum to divert "sparkle" Don - Quixote of the "war on windmills." And here it happened that Don Quixote fought with his dualom at least was with him "on opposite sides" that quite worthless.
- And how do you explain the fact that "Don" so "played in the afternoon" in its role function? Than he is so fond of the mask "despot." After all, his strong-willed efforts are usually directed to the good and noble deeds.
- If Don - Quixote gets education in the second quadra it "will sensorics" except that becomes negative, (different aggressiveness, authoritarianism), and it exacerbates the ethical issues it becomes almost the highest value, competes with its program intuition. In this case, "Don", as it were accumulating "subtype" or Maxim Zhukov. Such "Don - Quixote" is more appropriate and "Dumas", brought up in the same conditions and on the same values ​​- that is a very strong, powerful and strong-willed partner. And although Dumas is not the most attractive quality - but you never know where, to whom and under what conditions is useful that you believe is your fault. Want an example?
- Of course!
- One no longer young and very unlucky "Don Quixote" ("to the type" - "Yesenin"), after many failures in his personal life meets a twenty-girl "Dumas" very highly developed sensory volitional ("subtype" - "Zhukov" ). And imagine, quickly and conveniently with her Dualizing. (Coincidence "subtypes": "Zhukov" and "Yesenin" - also duals). A week after meeting they begin to live together; he stops drinking, establishes life, gets a job - in short, all of them well. And most importantly - their dual relationship stabilized surprisingly fast: it took only two months, but he already feels calm, balanced, peaceful - in short, dualized. Girl holding it in the "rod of iron", but imagine it like it (though, of course, he is a little afraid of her.) But at least she had good discipline and he to her for that. Cherishes his relationship with her.

- But Don - Quixote - it is usually highly intelligent, erudite people, and by your example of why - it is not clear ...
- Very well, here's another example of dualization: husband - Don - Quixote, intellectual, scholar; wife - Dumas, beautiful, confident woman, athlete (hobby - karate); two children. But the family idyll they lasted only eleven years ...
- Well, it's a lot, but what then?
- And then the happy husband was involved in what - that religious sect - just became involved, of curiosity. (From Don - Quixote it happens - the software "intuition of possibilities" often leads to their religiosity, thinking about making any irrational and anomalous phenomena.) Wife, accustomed to respect intellectual interests of her husband, his new interests perceived quietly, but when this passion began to take pathological - cringed. When he tried to involve children in the sect - actively protested and even used force. (As told by her coach karate for her one stroke put three men - a piece of cake.) When her husband brought home a bottle of poison and announced that it was time to prepare the children to move into the "better world", she decided to further him living dangerously, took her children and divorced immediately.
- And she was not sorry to destroy the family, break a relationship with him? after all - still duals?
- Especially her act deserves respect! After all, it makes the most overriding values ​​- children's lives. For Dumas, there can be nothing more valuable.
- But it has survived at least friendly relations with the former spouse, or he was moved to a "better world"?
- The former spouse is alive and well, and the relationship they have - so-so. Anyway, child support, he refuses to pay.
- And what he is motivated?
- However, it is not his children, and "God's", so let God take care of them and - typical bravado and vindictiveness offended Don - Quixote, combined with pragmatism and logical demonstrative resourcefulness.
- But maybe he was not going to slack off? And just trying to impress?
- "Sparkle on" volitional sensorike ", you mean? Possible. Don - Quixote extravagance peculiar behavior, but at least now he knows what you have to pay for the minute posturing. In addition, normal, oriented to their natural values ​​Don - Quixote knows that you can play anything but not the lives of their children.
- And this passion delusions that stupid stubbornness, how to understand?
- It's okay. Don - Quixote obliged to defend their ideas, and who will do it for him? If only ideas deserved ...
- And the fact that he was so unethical cost-friendly? ...
- Average manifestation problematic don - kihotovskoy ethics. Just in this situation, he felt very uncomfortable, because no ethical support from the partner is not received.
(Otherwise, it could not be - too deep were hurt its interests ...

- And, by the way, what is shown here support duals on mobilization aspects? This channel of communication we have not yet considered ... (refers to a channel (4 - 8), aspects of "the ethics of relations" at the Don and the "business logic" Dumas.)
- Demonstrative compassion and peacefulness Dumas, his ability to give a soft and sincere tone of any conversation, his touching care and boundless love for children - this is what sets Don - Quixote on the most benevolent way. And although Don - Quixote and some peculiar "prickliness" and "aggressive" - ​​yet he adopts a friendly tone Dumas becomes kinder, more tolerant and more delicate, lighter and communicate freely surf the complex ethical situations.

At the same time, and takes over from Don Dumas - Quixote necessary business skills: bolder displays business initiative, shows ingenuity, inventiveness, achieves high results in their work. Dumas is always proud of their labor achievements, but no matter how others evaluate his work, the main praise, support and encouragement he expects to recover it from your co-player. It is very important for him.

- And he gets it?
- If the relationship develop peacefully and safely, if Don - Quixote no significant claims for touch and ethical issues, and then about his successes partner responds with great respect. ("Here, it is now promoted to the post, a separate study identified may soon salary increase. Have it done!"). But if you still brewing what - that claim (and they are usually expressed in the form of nitpicking) dualu recollected all his flaws as an aspect of the business logic: and his "worthlessness" and sluggishness, and the desire to shirk hard work and fear of physical overload: "It seems that it is more than all the works, it is more than all the complains of fatigue. Although, I do not see where it recycles it ... "(His wife works two jobs, pulling a half rate, fumbling with toddler and he does not" see "where she was so tired. Incidentally, these claims were presented again same spouse sexually satisfied: "She complains that she is tired and she at me, you see, is not strong enough! ..")

- Surely it said Don - Quixote, very serious quarrel with his wife ...
- ... And maybe so, against the advice, he had a desire to get more of her work. To which she immediately responded demonstrative aggravation of relations: know, they say that you are offended. In response to her grievance, he further tightened its requirements. (That is, on the aspects of the problem "volitional sensing" and "ethics of relations" ... And this is exacerbated by all aspects of the level of the superego - the most painful for Don - Quixote.)
- And what is the solution? - Worried reader. - How are they now?
- Now it all depends on will the Dumas defending their positions and sensory and ethically will the strong-willed to resist the pressure of Douala will the smooth the conflict ... In my opinion, should not be taken seriously for a caricature of "tyranny" Don - Quixote-fact it's just a "game".
- But maybe if Don - Quixote - woman and Dumas - man dualization proceeds more safely? By the way, who in this case has to deal with the economy?

- Who wants to, he is engaged. As in any irrational dual pair there is no strict separation of duties.
Needless to say, the girls - Don - Quixote is not peculiar to prepare yourself Housewives: "Not for seven years I studied at the university, to the whim of what - what idiot life stand at the stove! .." - Said one of the representatives of this sociotypes. Incidentally this is a charming and well-educated woman, thinking about marriage has always represented at the stove with her future husband, (herself she had only seen on the computer.) After numerous attempts to find your ideal in Russia, it spread to the Western Hemisphere, where nearly married an American. Fortunately, just making out that she awaits the fate again Housewives, she terminated the engagement, returned to the groom a ring with diamonds and returned home. Here she went to a psychologist to clarify what was happening to her: "Either with me that - something is wrong, or the terms of some idiots, I do not understand ..."

- What is there to understand? normal girl! She just has not had the opportunity to meet her co-player ... And it's really a problem for women Don - Quixote?
- Recall aspect "sensory experiences" is in their position suggestive function (at the "absolute weakness"). That is, this is the aspect of that person tries to immediately exclude yourself (because it is an area of ​​"headache"). Not surprisingly, the girl from a young age worried as she would in the future be saved from what she most hated! (This is understandable, who wants to implement a program of its duala?).

On the other hand, Dumas his program also will not go anywhere. And while he lives with anyone - even for someone - then it will give pleasure, arranging for a loved one small "touch holidays" ...
- So the only thing you need to worry about the girls Don - Quixote - so it's a marriage with dualom ...
... Noticed that when Dumas is the head of the family aspect "sensory experiences" in the family becomes an integral value. Example - one of our family talantleveyshih fashion designer Valentin Yudashkin (Dumas). His wife - Don - Quixote - Beautiful woman fashion model in the past very successfully runs the house. (At least his wife - dualu like her cooking.) The house cult aesthetics. Daughter - fully developed child; favorite activity - drawing ...
- Who is she sotsiotipy?
- Also Dumas (ie, the ideal - a perfect psychological compatibility with both parents).
- So in all respects a happy and harmonious family ...
- And God forbid that has always been so! Another example: a family of artists Alexander Kalyagina ("Dumas") and Eugenia Glushenko ("Don") - also dual happy marriage, three children, a successful professional career both spouses ...
- A possible option is whether a large age difference?
- Possible. And here's an example: husband - Dumas, older than his wife of 25 years. (He - 48, she was - 23 dual marriage) ...
- And she looks happy?
- More than he wears it on his hands, (in the literal sense of the word), makes her breakfast in bed ...
- So my husband and running, and he is engaged in a kitchen?
- And why not? And if the wife "and work, and a kitchen doing"? In addition, to the family, we're talking about cooking - it is part of their overall "love game", it is their "ritual", the traditional rite. Therefore, both spouses are involved here: the husband - prepares wife - and tastes inspired by his presence. Romantic names invented dishes: salad "Desire," pudding "Tenderness" - or what - something like that ... Here's a family idyll ...
- And another question: who in this dual pair takes the initiative when dating? Who was the first reduces the distance?
- It is believed that the first inclined to be proactive ethics - sensing. (Combination of "ethical initiatives" - "partner selection" and "sensory initiatives" - "capture" partner "). But in my opinion it depends on how the person is aware of his program and how he wants to implement it. Don - Quixote can easily reduce the distance because he is interested in people and pretty. Also, if Don decides to start a family as soon as possible, he does this in order to reliably "to cover their rears" and be free to intellectual creativity - that is, again, in the interests of their program.

Dumas sees its program to create a harmonious family with a loved one, take care of it and raise his children. So no matter who the first one to work - can come to Don Dumas and tell that - something interesting, or Dumas can first go and treat than Don - lint, the main thing - it's a coincidence attitude and value for interaction. For irrational dyads are primary conditions dualization. Then comes the "grinding" on rational aspects - that is, shall be verified convergence of views, attitudes and principles, as it already does all life.