Activity Relations INTj and ISFp by Stratiyevskaya¶
Introduction¶
In these relations both partners are introverts. They are both negativists, and thus they will often caution, suppress, and try to “sober” each other up (even though neither of them needs this). They are also both emotivists, and initially they will be expressing mutual non-binding sympathies that do not oblige them to anything, but which each of them receives and interprets very seriously, since each is subconsciously oriented as his constructivist dual, who does not hurry with expressions of positive affect, but demonstrates and reinforces his attitude through corresponding actions. However, in these relations neither of the partners-emotivists is in a special hurry to offer his deeds and services, especially at the initial stage of the relationship.
Often both partners begin to sympathize with each other from the very first time that they meet. SEI is attracted by LII’s gentleness, domesticity, prudently caring attitude, self-sacrificing love for children, and his ability to fully devote himself to the interests of the family and home (his ability to “dissolve” in the interests of the members of his household). LII, in turn, sees SEI as a person who is serious, intelligent, responsible, calm and level-headed, kind and caring, and a family-oriented partner. Of course, all of these qualities are usually present in both people - the only question is how they will manifest in a context of this relationship of activation.
Channel 1-6¶
The aspect of “sensing of experiences” (Si)
Here LII will be activated by sensory care of SEI. At first he will be much impressed by this quality of his partner: someone is looking after him, worries where to place him at the table, what to feed him with. However, with time he begins to notice that the sensory aspect is perhaps given too much attention, from his point of view: “Don’t make a cult out of a meal.” That which his dual Huge (ESE) does from an overflow of emotions, SEI performs as a work of art. If ESE in one hour can prepare an entire feast (just bring him the ingredients and clean the dishes), SEI will take five hours to hover over one cake (and it would be a pity to even cut such a cake). If ESE will rarely make his partner wait for dinner, SEI in relations of activity will do this more and more often, as these relations will ignite in him all his sensory creativity, and inspire him to try to treat his partner to something exceptional.
In addition, SEI won’t let his partner to even grab a taste or have a snack - he needs to fully partake in that which was created for him with such zeal. Having come to the conclusion that perhaps SEI loves all this “craftsmanship” even more than his partner, LII attempts to shift his priorities and redirect SEI from sensing to ethics (that is, to impose the values of his dual Hugo): teach him that human needs are primary, and food - it’s just food, which, most importantly, should be served on time to not be a source of discord in the family. SEI, in turn, sees that all his efforts are not met with a well-deserved response, and because he cannot cook “just something”, simply and quickly, he slows down and even stops doing anything because he feels that he doesn’t know what to do now and how to please his partner. Thus one day, coming from work, Robespierre could be left without dinner: “I don’t know what to cook, anything that I do is not right for you!”
Aspect of the “logic of relations” (Ti)
The elegance of LII’s reasoning will for some time inspire SEI, but eventually he starts to feel tired from the dryness and meticulousness of reasoning of his partner. He feels that the logic of LII lacks in flexibility - it’s too rigid, fundamental, immutable. Here SEI will attempt to shift the priorities of LII - he tries to convince him that it is necessary to treat life in a more easy-going, flexible manner, maybe even try to be more adventurous and enterprising in some things, that one should not be a slave to one’s logic and principles. Since he won’t be able to persuade his partner in this, SEI begins to gradually move away from him; he will start to get tired from the constant arguments and instructions.
Channel 2-5¶
The aspect of “intuition opportunities” (Ne)
SEI does not receive sufficient information on his suggestive function - or rather, this information is not of his desired quality. Flexible, creative intuition of LII lacks in the scope of imagination and extent of flight of fancy of dominant intuition of ILE; maximum that LII is able to do with his intuition is to brilliantly justify, develop, and organize ideas that have already been put forward before him. It is infrequently that brilliant conjectures of massive scale visit representatives of this type. Thus SEI eventually starts to feel skeptical of the intellectual abilities of his partner: “Some else in his place would have already come up with something - while he’s sitting back with his hands folded”. The fact that LII is not able (or not willing) to find exceptional opportunities in difficult situations worry SEI. Due to this, he doesn’t feel protected and secure with such a partner. For him this means that in the event of danger, he will have to do all the reshuffling and maneuvering himself, since his partner is too straight-lined and uncompromising to be capable of this.
Aspect of the “ethics of emotions” (Fe)
The straight-lined, rational LII feels worries by the ethical maneuverability and artistry demonstrated by his activity partner. LII does not like when someone is being coy with him, when his feelings are being manipulated, when someone for unknown reason sulks, complains, and reproaches him. (“If you have a grievance, talk about it openly rather than merely in hints.”). He is also dissatisfied that he is either “gifted” by affection, by love, “cooing” and “chirping”, or “punished” by demonstrative complaints grievances, and reproaches. Over time, he will try to keep at a distance from these “emotional swings”, since these are not the kind of feelings in which he trusts. Such flexible use of emotions in a relationship does not fit into what LII is expecting on his suggestive function. Again, he attempts to shift priorities of SEI and prove that one cannot play around with emotions, that this will not lead to anything. However, for SEI are only of secondary value - they are only a tool he is able to use with much dexterity and flexibility. His program and creative priorities will never, under any circumstances, change their places. But his LII activator does not know about this and thus will attempt to teach him different priorities.
Channel 4-7¶
Aspect of “volitional sensing” (Se)
Dumas will not be able to offer Robespierre effective support on the aspect of “volitional sensing”. Subconsciously SEI is oriented at the normative Se of his dual ILE, who himself is not averse to enter into a fight, to show his competitive qualities and demonstrate his fighting spirit. Thus SEI tries to not get involved in anyone’s conflicts and arguments, to not be blamed for it later. However, LII will negatively judge and condemn such passive non-interference on the part of SEI. He will see this not only as lack of solidarity and the absence of definitive opinions and principles, but also as a manifestation of cowardice, spinelessness, and lack of heart. This may lead LII to form a rather unpleasant opinion about his activity partner. This opinion will deteriorate even further with the comments that SEI will voice “after the fight” (his observing function does not remain idle). And, of course, those comments would not be in favor of Robespierre, who, according to Dumas, could not find another way out of the conflict (displeasure with his “intuition of opportunities”), and in general was too harsh and direct (reproach directed as his “uncompromising” inert logic). Thus, instead of the expected support, LII listens to “post-factum” commentary that he receives as accusations and blame, as well as recommendations that he won’t be able to implement.
Aspect of the “business logic” (Te)
The situation is same with respect to activating function of SEI, who will not receive the kind of support that he needs from his partner. When SEI starts up some venture or project and it falls through, LII will prove to him that it was initially poorly thought out and insufficiently developed methodically. Of course, LII can offer his services and develop an even more promising technique, but the project has already failed, and SEI will be obviously disappointed with this type of belated participation on the part of his activity partner.
Channel 3-8¶
The aspect of “intuition of time” (Ni)
LII will often feel somewhat irritated by the slowness and the holding back of SEI, his reluctance to make clear plans and to fill his day with activities, his constant references to being too busy followed by complains that he is lagging behind on something or other. Any attempt of LII to somehow allocate the time of SEI, any reminders that it’s time to switch to other activities will arouse irritation of his activity partner: “I’ve only just sat down to rest - why are you bothering me? Why aren’t you letting me to have a conversation with this person?” Robespierre gradually ceases to adjust the schedule of Dumas - he understands that it is empty and hopeless task. He ceases to challenge the “predictions” and “prognoses” of his partner that to him, as an intuitive type, seem laughably simple and absurd. Robespierre starts moving further away from Dumas, trying to go about his business quietly and without interference.
Aspect of the “ethics of relations” (Fi)
This is the aspect on which Dumas is committed to providing effective assistance to his partner, regardless of whether he needs it or not. Robespierre is not in need of such assistance - it is very important that he himself learns how to deal with all the ethical awkwardness. Thus LII feels slightly annoyed by SEI’s habit to smooth over the “edginess” in his behavior and statements (as if he himself is an unreasonable child). Again, he will be wary the uneven attitude of SEI towards himself - that SEI is sometimes intently committed and helpful, and other times he deliberately boycotts LII’s demands and requests. Robespierre, who is subconsciously oriented at the inert, “observational” ethics of Hugo (ESE) is distrustful of any ethical manipulation on part of Dumas. Dumas, on the other hand does not understand the reproaches that LII voices on this aspect - after all, he is behaving naturally and relating to his partner as he deserves.
Despite all these differences and inconsistencies the partners in the dyad usually share the love for children, the house, the common interests of the family. If they start feeling too uncomfortable with each other, they can go out “into the social light”, communicate with a wider circle of friends. Each of them unwittingly starts accumulating a more extraverted “subtype” of their mirror type, that is, that sociotypes with whom they are in a mirror relationship. Dumas acquires the subtype of Hugo, and Robespierre acquires the subtype of Don Quixote.