Activity Relations ESTp and ENFj by Stratiyevskaya¶
Introduction¶
In this pair both types involved as negativists and constructivists. Each of them strive to do demonstrate their positive predisposition, to be of help and service to his partner by actions and deeds, and, therefore, each will feel a certain lack of emotional sensitivity and soulfulness from his partner.
With the passage of time, they will have the effect of “muting” and grounding each other. Zhukov is very proud of his sober, realistic view of life. However, Hamlet doesn’t consider himself to be a fool either (and, in addition, he does not like when others take him for one and try to teach him how to live). Hamlet doesn’t need the constant “grounding” and harsh control of Zhukov. Moreover, he grows tired of all his warnings and lessons.
Communication over channels 1 - 6 and 2 - 5: Aspects of Se, Ni, Fe, Ti¶
At the first contact with his activity partner, Hamlet softens and warms up, becomes more cheerful and mischievous, starts to joke and fool around similarly to Zhukov’s dual Esenin. His program function of “ethics of emotion” obtains a light and playful character. An activated Hamlet from a staunch tragedy actor turns into a comedian and inventor of all sorts of jokes and nonsense. Again, the desire to lead in Hamlet, too, undergoes several transformations - from ideologue and mentor he turns into a sort of “ringleader-joker”.
These relations soften SLE as well, making him more introverted and yielding. His relationship with EIE acquires a tone of soft, “parental” custody. Activated Zhukov becomes similar to Maxim (LSI) of a very strong irrational subtype. For some time he relaxes - his stiffness, authoritativeness, and expansiveness disappear. He is easily activated by Hamlet’s jokes, lends himself to this foolishness, but after some time again he wants to be serious and reasonable. Zhukov begins to tire of the jokes and ruses of Hamlet, which more and more take on an offensive and less respectful character. As it is known, in the second quadra partners like to test each other “for cracks”, and Zhukov begins to realize that these jokes are a kind of a “litmus test” and so he must respond to them in a dignified manner. Zhukov can respond appropriately only through his volitional sensorics, thus once again comes out his harsh commanding tone and unceremoniousness in gestures, of which Hamlet will take note and respond accordingly.
Hamlet will also demonstrate his “cockiness” and fighting spirit, and he will do this in such a sophisticated and brutal form that Zhukov will remember it for a long time. After the first mutual opposition and clash takes place, partners will disperse each to their corner, feeling offended, alerted, and puzzled by one another.
Partnership of Hamlet and Zhukov is a constant battle of two leaders - negativists. Over time, experiences gained through these collisions will cause them to communicate with each other more respectfully and at a greater distance.
Hamlet will attempt to claim his right to lead and try setting the necessary emotional and ethical tone in these relations. Here, he will be puzzled and disappointed by the emotional inertia of Zhukov, who’s is moved with great difficulty, and once he gets going takes a long while to cool down, while Hamlet is oriented at greater emotional susceptibility and suggestibility of his dual, Maxim. Over time, he will begin to fear the unpredictable temper of Zhukov and discover that he will have to constantly adjust himself to his partner. His emotions will eventually acquire a more flexible, manipulative, distracting and relaxing nature. Thus, Hamlet, who has lived for many years in a relationship of activation, adopts some of the characteristics of SLE’s dual, the IEI. From time to time, he will seek favor from his partner, seem impressed by and laugh at his rough and awkward jokes. An EIE man with a wife who is his activity partner eventually becomes a quiet and agreeable family man.
The subtypes and temperaments of partners also matter; if they are not compatible in their temperaments, this can lead to rather unpleasant results. For example, Hamlet of a very pronounced choleric temperament can feel a lack of thrill in a partnership with a sluggish and apathetic Zhukov. Hamlet, in such cases, can openly provoke his partner to sadism by humiliating him and insulting him in the presence of others. Zhukov is usually aware of what is wanted from him in such situations, but he does not always lend himself to this provocation, since in his harshness Zhukov is also quite inert and does not like expanding it on trivial situations and mere entertainment. (His harshness is reserved for his enemies, not his loved ones.) Thus, Hamlet’s need for thrill and danger remains unsatisfied.
Communication over channels 3 - 8 and 4 - 7: aspects of Fi, Te, Si, Ne¶
As we can see, observing function of “sensing of experiences” of Zhukov is unable to satisfy all the needs of his activity partner. For Hamlet, who is oriented at very specific, “situational” manifestations of flexible sensing function of Maxim, this is an unfortunate turn of events. Meanwhile, his attempts to “tease” his activator will lead to unpredictable consequences and undesired for him reactions. Therefore, Hamlet begins to feel and unsatisfied and unfulfilled in many aspects of their mutual life.
Over time, Hamlet accumulates some ethical criticisms in Zhukov’s address, feeling aggravated by Zhukov falling into various awkward ethical situations. Hamlet is oriented at normative ethics of his dual, Maxim, thus he often feels embarrassed for the behavior of Zhukov, and therefore considers it his duty to speak out on this issue and condemn that which in his opinion falls outside the scope of what is permissible. Hamlet condemns the egocentrism of Zhukov, his unjustified expansionism, his habit of not taking other people into consideration. Voicing his remarks regarding all of this he certainly ethically stresses and traumatizes Zhukov, but on the other hand, also makes him more introverted, cautious, and restrained.
Active participation of Zhukov in his business operations is not always welcomed by Hamlet, because here he wants to show his independence and to prove to everyone around, himself included, that he, too, is capable of something. Business activity of Zhukov sometimes has the effect of dampening business initiative of Hamlet, as often it doesn’t coincide with and match his plans and intentions. Hamlet feels irritated not only by the urgent advice of his activator, but also by his rigorous control over their execution.
However, neither is Zhukov fully satisfied with the ethical-intuitive warnings of Hamlet, especially when they end with “cleansing” of his “circle”. Zhukov starts to suspect that Hamlet is obviously manipulating him, trying to subjugate him to his influence and his will, forcing him to “cut off” useful and needed connections, making him quarrel with the “right” people - and, of course, Zhukov does not take well to such things.