SLE observations¶
SLE (ESTp) A Look From The Inside¶
ESTP: “First let me apologize beforehand: this article was written in one sitting during a burst of creative inspiration, therefore, if there are any errors or omissions or if something needs to be added - I reserve the right to fix this later. Inspired by the article “LSI Insights”.
Se our essence.
Frequently profiles for TIM “Zhukov” describe SLEs as pressing, pushing through, moving ahead by all possible means and methods, by suppressing, terrorizing, controlling, etc. Maybe this is true, but only at times.
Originally, the concept of “sensing” meant perception of the world through physical means. We perceive the world in exactly this way: through our eyes and ears, by our sense of taste and smell. This is why, allegedly, we take note of (see, hear, feel) many more minute details than representatives of other TIMs. We are always tuned to the total perception of reality. Few TIMs are so completely and unconditionally immersed in the reality as the Se “program” types. That is why if you want to know the actual state of things, the real situation, ask an extraverted sensor. You don’t have to believe him or her. You can evoke any images of reality for yourself. You can hide in your imagination and conjectures. Still, everything will be as Se “program” type says that it is. And life will prove it. This is perhaps why Se is also called “sensing of reality” or “the factual perception of reality”. Such definition, in my opinion is quite accurate.
The SLE is almost always controlling the situation, and, moreover, he/she wants to and strives to control it. The SLE is always a few steps ahead of others in his/her sense of reality. It is evident that such a person has little reason to feel panicked. Thus, as a rule, the SLE’s demeanor is calm and confident, and slightly mocking in a well-wishing friendly way.
Se is also called “spatial sensing”. This description is also accurate, imo. I recall someone describing it as follows: “a person with highly developed extroverted sensing is very perceptive of the space between the objects”. I’ll add to this that a person with strong Se perceives this space as a whole. I, personally, don’t have a problem imagining how the universe is infinite.
Se types exert force on objects with the goal of moving them around in space. In their perception, the object can be influenced only in space, which can be accomplished only by physical action, by application of physical force to it in reality. This is why Se as a function is also called “sensing of power or force”. IMO this definition is inaccurate and serves as the source of all the myths about the pressing and “line-ups” and other nonsense that has nothing to do with TIM SLE.
Se is also often called “volitional sensing” or “sensing of willpower”. Why? because will is a desire, only a very strong one. To make things happen, one needs to have a strong desire to do this; to have the will. The SLEs possess such will more often than not. Which is why we can be very stubborn we can “ram” the same wall for years, and in the end achieve exactly the result that we wanted. The important thing is to correctly set one’s goal.
There is one BUT. We will be striving exactly for the result that WE want. To achieve what we want we can ignore and override the wishes and wants of others. Others are often given only three choices:
To move together with the SLE towards his or her goal.
To move towards one’s own goal without the SLE.
To not desire anything on their own. Then the SLE will want/desire for you. And believe me we have enough will and wants for everyone.
These three options will always be at your disposal. You can make a choice at any moment and later change your decision we won’t obligate and hold you to anything. If you go with Zhukov, you have the right of picking the road. You have the right of choosing what to bring, what to wear, how to get there - anything that would enable you to make the trip. You can change your mind and leave at any time and no one will feel offended. But if the SLE notices at some point that you aren’t reaching the desired result, then he/she will correct you - calmly, softly, but firmly. The SLE needs the exact result or no result at all there are no other options. If you have made the decision to join, please oblige me and do what you’re being asked to do - or don’t come along.
The SLE tries not to coerce other people and undermine their will he/she understands perfectly well that others have their own desires that can oppose his/her wishes. But in exchange we also ask of others not to “abuse” our will. We will defend our right to free will at all costs. We have our will to set goals. We have our stubbornness and perseverance to achieve those goals. We will also accept the responsibility if the fault lies with us.
If the SLE wants something, sooner or later everything will be as he or she wants it. We are stubborn. However, our base function, Se, also gives us a few bonuses: flexibility in resolving issues, ability to quickly re-adapt to the demands of the objective reality, to search and find other new approaches towards achieving our goal.
Another characteristic trait of an SLE protection of his/her personal territory. By “personal territory” what is meant is not only our home or office space - this extends to the interests and people who are close to us. You can be sure that the SLE won’t allow anyone to trespass on his “territory” around SLE you will always have protection. No, he won’t go around yelling: “Stop! Don’t dare to come in here!” as he wouldn’t want to offend you. He will quietly close the door. Or he will sit in silence and scowl, or stand at the doorstep until you realize that you were not expected here. And shrug his shoulders at all the reasons that you give him. The SLE will also respect other people’s territory. That is, I won’t come to someone else’s home and then proceed to tell them where they should hang their mirror or put the sofa. I consider that everyone has the right to construct their personal space in a way that he/she wants it, just like I have the right to do the same. And I request that others respect that right. But I’m already talking about the next function
Ti the function of creative display.
To put it briefly, our structural logic is expressed in the structuring of space. This is to describe it in very simple terms.
The property that I would like to note first and foremost is a clear distribution or “hierarchy” of priorities. Such “hierarchy” of priorities for us exists everywhere at work, in our family, within our interests and personal preferences. This allows us not to waste ourselves on minor things but to identify and work on solving problems and issues that are most important in the present moment i.e. problems that occupy top place in our “hierarchy”. Our attention is turned to more important, global things. In general, we don’t like dealing with details and feel frustrated and angered if we are forced to do this.
SLEs also enjoy experimenting. If the SLE owns a business, he/she will observe with interest who is capable and of what. Rarely makes mistakes in estimating the abilities and qualifications of a person. With interest will watch how people’s abilities unravel in order to assess where they should be placed, and often can accurately assess who needs to be put in which position. Can change his “favorites” according to the situation (a “favorite” is a candidate for promotion).
Knows his own position perfectly well for example he won’t go to the director and tell him where to place Petrov if he himself is employed there as an office assistant. The SLE recognizes very well what rights he has and doesn’t have, and what the other people around him are entitled or not entitled to (all depending on their position). The SLE is well aware of his/her responsibilities and of the responsibilities of others. He/she also sees it when somebody is afraid of taking responsibility, avoids and shirks it.
Concerning the structuring of the space we try to arrange our household for maximum convenience for ourselves, which means maximizing the space available to us. It will be spacious, aesthetically attractive, and everything needed will be at hand.
The third thing that I would like to mention we can prove practically anything in one and the other direction provided that we are sufficiently well-versed on the subject. Another matter is that we don’t always feel the need to convince anyone of our opinion. Unless the question is one of principle, then will be trying to persuade others until we pass out. The so-called “pressuring” of the SLE manifests precisely via our logical function that we can firmly and obstinately and sometimes even rudely and overly categorically try to convince you of something that is in some way a matter of principle for us. During this, we will come up with more and more reasons and arguments, try to lead you into a trap within your own arguments (that are usually wrong from SLE’s point of view), ask you uncomfortable questions that you wouldn’t be able to answer; in short, try by any means possible to persuade you in our opinion. All arguments and all knowledge of the SLE will be put forward towards this goal. Luckily for the humanity and SLE himself there aren’t that that many issues of principle.
The SLE doesn’t enter arguments if he doesn’t possess sufficient amount of information. In such cases he’ll simply avoid the conversation. Making him/her discuss topics of which he/she knows nothing about is practically impossible the SLE won’t go there realizing perfectly well that he/she will lose the argument. And the SLE doesn’t like to lose. Of course, the SLE may argue a little just to keep the conversation going, feeling bored and not having much else to do this is understandable. Most often the SLE enters into an argument for the argument’s sake, not to achieve anything. To train and hone his or her logic, so that when an important and serious situation arrives he/she won’t be lost. But usually he quickly loses interest in any debates will incite others then soon disappear.
SLE’s logic is very flexible and we love demonstrating it. I, for example, enjoy explaining, clarifying, telling stories, especially if I know the topic well. Here I feel that I can “show myself off”. Other people have told me that I am able to explain complicated things in very simple, easy to understand terms and I believe that this is true. In school, my classmates would come to me so that I would explain to them math, physics, chemistry problems, and some actually got higher grades … well, those who were actually seeking knowledge, and not to play around.
Generally, before getting involved in some discussion or dispute, the SLE will collect all the necessary (and unnecessary) information on the question that he’d like to respond to. Then he/she will further accrue information in the process of discussion. Solid sense of reality and ability to structure are very helpful for filtering the important/necessary parts from everything else that is minor and inconsequential.
Ne trying to not miss an opportunity.
Yes, sometimes we feel afraid. Imagine that. We are afraid of not being able to foresee something. Despite the fact that in general we can always adjust to the situation, we are rather wary of the unexpected.
Especially, we don’t trust people. There is a fear that other people may ruin or destroy something. Thus the SLE feels afraid to rely on others. Such that nothing bad happens in the future, we go through various scenarios of how the events may pan out, try to figure everything out in advance, and prepare just in case any problems arise.
Since our Ne is 2-dimensional, our probability estimates follow the lines of this anecdote: for a person to enter a room and see a dinosaur the chance is 1 in a many million but for Zhukov it is 50/50: either he will see it or he won’t. And he needs to be prepared for both of these contingencies. And no, we don’t start panicking and fall into stupor if something unexpected actually occurs we’re still extroverts and irrationals and are able to handle problems as they arise.
The worst case scenario is when some unexpected option was discussed beforehand but not considered despite SLE’s uneasiness and concern then he/she will get on everyone’s nerves with the “I told you so!” The very same thing will occur when the option that the SLE has thought through very carefully takes place then he/she will likewise get to everyone with the “I told you so!”
The SLE cannot promote ideas very well. No, of course he/she can come up with something, but it usually concerns solution of some very specific, concrete, real problem, and not ideas and ideals “in general”. The SLE won’t be able to provide you with multiple answers to the question of the type: “What sort of business should I start?” He/she will then inquire: “And what specifically would you like to do?” Or say something in the spirit of: “It should be something that you like and that you know how to do well.” The SLE also won’t spread himself thin across several types of occupations. Not that he is a perfectionist, but if he is doing something he considers that he needs to do it well. And the fewer different things that he has to occupy with the more attention and time can be devoted to what he’s presently doing.
The SLE lives by the principle: “Don’t miss an opportunity!” If all of a sudden he suddenly sees some favorable to him/herself opportunity, he will grab it with a stranglehold, and hold on to it until the very last moment, until the point when it becomes clear that nothing will come out of it.
When it comes to people the SLE is not particularly discerning. He/she of course sees who stands in front of him: a leader or a follower, a person with dignity or someone who is servile and sycophantic, but otherwise he/she finds it very difficult to evaluate such qualities in others such as decency, sincerity, patience, and so on.
Fi well, why can’t I be good for everyone?
It is precisely because the SLE is not very discerning with people that he/she finds it quite difficult to find an approach to each person. Thus he tries to keep friendly to all, to seem agreeable and easy-going, to not impose his company on anyone, to positively predispose others towards his person, and to provide maximum freedom for other people in order to see what they stand for and represent.
The SLE carefully “picks out” his/her own people from the “others”. For someone to become his or her “own” it takes some time. A single mistake can throw you back to the starting point.
Doesn’t always realize that a smile on someone’s face and good manners are not necessarily a measure of this person’s good disposition and sincerity. Some people smile just “because”. SLE hates this type of ambiguity. He doesn’t have the resources to track all of the signals of this type. Thus he/she is easily led on by ethical games SLE’s consideration can be won simply by good treatment; he won’t immediately recognize a trap. But once he sees it, he won’t give the person a second chance. The SLE can be led on and manipulated by good attitude for a long time, but not forever. If he catches you on a lie, sees that behind your smile hides something else besides kindness, then he/she will stop trusting you out of principle, and then smile however much you wish. But to demonstrations of good attitude he will usually react positively, even if it’s coming from a person whom he/she doesn’t like and doesn’t trust.
In general, the SLE doesn’t know how to keep distance in communication (distance in ethical sense). Thus, he/she feels worried and anxious about it. If a person tries to intrude on his territory and at the same time behaves in a very friendly way, for the SLE it will be difficult to rebuff them. It feels awkward and somehow uncomfortable to offend a good person The SLE knows how to distance only in physical sense to move, change place of work, to not pick up the phone, not open the door, cut off communication, not say anything, not allow someone to enter into his life.
Similarly, the SLE hates ethical pressuring before which he/she is practically helpless. Dislikes this vulnerability in him/herself. Tries to somehow shield and limit himself from such people and situations. The base function comes to the rescue here and enables the SLE to increase the spatial (physical) distance.
Has difficulty showing his attitude and relation to other people can give gifts, come over to visit and bring presents, but will do this with some unease, feeling some anxiety concerning being too bothersome or intrusive or boring, thinking that perhaps he was invited only out of politeness. Thankful to those who actively demonstrate their own disposition towards him and show it clearly, so that there is no need to interpret double-signals. If he feels negatively towards someone, hides it, not knowing how to correctly express his attitude - fears that he might be too rude and offensive. Will instead hide, avoid, ignore, talk in cold and indifferent tone, reduce all contact to a minimum, try not to take anything of theirs to not feel himself obliged in any way.
Any breakup for the SLE is usually very painful and often unexpected he/she in general cannot keep track of any deep ethical developments and progressions. If any complex ethical situation arises at work this is already sufficient reasons to think (read: obsess and worry over) “did I act/behave myself in the correct fashion towards my co-workers?” In some cases the SLE won’t take sides but still he/she will ponder on the situation over for a long time. Just as well reflect on it if he/she expected one thing from a person but that person acted completely differently.
Tries to understand other people what moves them, what are the motives for their actions, and to some extent makes progress with this. Tries not to give any advice, especially if he/she wasn’t asked. In general, holds back from making appraisals of personal qualities of people and tries not to judge, although doesn’t always succeed in this. Tries not to get personal, and doesn’t tolerate this in relation to himself, especially from people who are little familiar to him. However, likes listening to people-related information preferably from someone who is well discerning in this: who lives where, how they live, who such-and-such person is, and so on.
Speaks calmly, with sense of appropriateness, and on friendly terms. Tries to positively predispose people towards him/herself. Watches that he doesn’t offend anyone inadvertently. Practices tolerance, especially if the person is dear to him. Tries to be good towards everyone and doesn’t understand why others don’t always appreciate this after all, this is so important for him!
Ni “I will do the same thing as you”
Generally, Ni, going by Reinin, is the integrity of the internal situation. Harmony, in short. Ni and Se are like the two sides of the same coin Se types protect external space while Ni types protect their inner space, their inner sense of meaning and contingency. Ni sincerely believes that everything that comes also goes, and it’s meaningless to occupy oneself with minor things and details.
If the SLE sees that a person has “withdraw into him/herself” no matter the reason, then he will view this with understanding. He might not like it, of course, but the SLE won’t bother the person. If it is so then it must be so.
Learns from his dual to solve many of his problems in the same way to ignore any external factors and distractions, to close him/herself off, so that they don’t disturb his inner wholeness, inner harmony.
The SLE doesn’t like it when resolution of some issue is dragged out in time and keeps getting postponed all this time he feels himself uneasy, grows nervous, starts thinking over various options. While he is anxious like this, he drives everyone else around him crazy. Hates it when he is unable to do anything about some problem this undermines his own inner mental and physical state.
Feels very grateful to the one who can explain to him/her that everything will be alright, that everything will happen in its due time, and so on. Very dependent on the calmness of his partner in such cases. Someone mentioned here that SLEs are easily suggestible by prognoses. May be so. We are attracted to positive forecasts. And ignore the negative ones. Negative ones we can imagine ourselves, hence our unease and restlessness. Instead, make us feel good inside, reassure us and calm us down. In general I can’t write too much about this function it’s difficult for me to understand.
Fe I hate myself for not being able to control this
Emotional, but doesn’t always know what to do with his emotions. Rather, never exactly knows. Thus, doesn’t show much emotion in general.
Picks up on the emotions of others around him. Feels down himself if other people are in a depressed and gloomy mood. Noticing that someone else is upset, feels himself awkward, as if he is to blame. Can absorb the general mood around him, although doesn’t always notice this himself. Prefers elevated, upbeat emotional atmosphere around himself, but doesn’t know how to stir people up. Doesn’t know how to create the needed emotional background in a group and is glad when someone else does this for him.
Experiences mood shifts/swings, but doesn’t readily recognize what caused them, what brought about these changes, and cannot easily direct and manage them. Periods of good mood and elevated energies are followed by slumps, periods of apathy and low activity. Poorly tolerates sudden shouts or screaming and emotional remarks in his address this can severely depress him and undermine his performance.
Sometimes the SLE suddenly flares up over some minor thing and then quickly calms down though it happens rarely, such flare-ups may be intense. During this time the SLE cannot control him/herself and may act out and tell everyone what he/she thinks of them. Believe me, you won’t hear anything flattering about yourself, so it’s better to not drive the SLE into this state. During the periods of such “emotional overheating” the SLE may leave, slam the door, turn off the phone, and in general do many strange things - behave himself inadequately, in summary.
Usually these “outbursts” don’t happen simply because, but are a result of some deep emotional processes, some prolonged reflection over some situation. How long this was going on is usually unclear to others because the SLE is inclined to keep such deep emotional processes hidden from others. He/she feels grateful to a partner who is able to resolve these “outbursts” even before they take place or extinguish them as they occur. Very few dare to approach the SLE when he/she is in a bad mood. But the IEI may.
Feels grateful to a partner who withholds emotional commentary in his address, and who holds himself with some restraint and tact in making personal and emotional statements, since the SLE easily falls under the influence of other people’s emotional states.
At the same time, welcomes positive emotions in all their manifestations. Likes “charging up” through this. Enjoys it when others direct positive emotions to his person. Enjoys holidays and celebrations, loves going to the movies to see breathtaking emotional scenes and to feel more enlivened through such feelings. If the SLE doesn’t receive this kind of emotional support from his/her partner, if the partner is cold and closed off, the SLE can try to provoke him or her behave defiantly and provocatively, try to antagonize them, mock and taunt, make jokes in his partner’s address. But does this either only to people with whom he is very familiar, or when he is bored and wants to tease somebody.
In general I hate it when I can’t control something. This is why I don’t like my mood swings and appreciate when there is somebody who is able to keep things under control in such situations.
Si is this even important?
Here everything is very simple. SLE’s own sensations are usually subordinate to some other more important things. For example, health and sense of well-being are sacrificed to what he has to do that day. The SLE can work himself senseless, he/she can walk around with a fever and scrub the floors in his kitchen, show up sick to an appointment which really could have been canceled.
Then there is the other extreme. If the SLE feels that he is falling sick, he can pump himself with medicines how can it be otherwise? He can’t miss out on a day or two without him the world will stop! The consequence of such health experiments can be rather unpredictable.
If the SLE is very sick and cannot make it through “on his feet”, he will try to conceal this fact from others. I don’t know what kind of an instinct comes into play here, but when I feel myself unwell and helpless, I don’t like when others starting coming around with offers of care and help.
If one of his relatives or close friends falls sick, then the SLE tries to help by all methods known to him or her. Good thing if he/she doesn’t know too many of these methods and “cures”, otherwise his sick friends and relatives would have to run away, since in sensing the SLE doesn’t feel any limits making any extremes possible.
At home - undemanding, although likes it when everything is set up well, with beauty and in good taste, and that his living space is spacious and convenient, such that everything is at hand. Can eat anything, but prefers food that is savory of course. Doesn’t require delicacies, but neither will he eat just whatever. Concerning cooking: I don’t cook very often, but I try to cook well and to always have something prepared around the house. I will consider the culinary preferences of my family, and of course won’t forget about myself. And I don’t like any excesses, not in my home.
Te obvious in itself.
I don’t concern too much with whether something is expedient. I am aware of this, of course any situation is scanned from the point of view of whether the resources are being used reasonably but I prefer not to talk of it. For us it’s obvious as it is.
If I see someone is trying to solve a problem repeatedly by some not very rational method, I will try to mend the situation. And it won’t even occur to me to rebuke or ridicule this person. I won’t even pause and think about how he/she’s so stupid that he couldn’t come up with some other quicker and more effective way of doing things. Or why he/she’s stepping on the same rake over and over again. If they continue to worry about this issue, I will tell them that it’s not worth it and the problem is really insignificant. If I’m asked of this, will offer some way of solving it.
Often I’ll try to shield my partner from having to make decisions on such questions and instead attempt to work through them myself, when I see that he/she is struggling, lagging behind, and in addition is very anxious and stressed over it. Many problems can be solved in silence and on my own, and then I’ll offer the finished result to my partner. Unfortunately I can’t solve all problems. With many he’ll have to deal himself, just like I often have to deal with my painful function on my own.
I’ve witnessed a situation in which an IEI sweated for a weak over a joke that was made in his address by an LIE. The joke was minor, a common saying, but apparently he took it personally and was silently mulling over it for a long time. When he finally told me of it, I told him that it’s a common phrase and that he shouldn’t worry about it. Even though I myself wouldn’t have made a joke like that.
At work I will try to optimize the general working process, for instance, by making tables for some standard forms, etc. I would do it silently on my own and then present the result to others. If they won’t adhere to the procedures I won’t criticize I will put them before the fact again, and again, however many times it is needed. In extreme cases, will use some penalty. But I won’t scold or lecture anyone, and will hear out their objections and alternative suggestions concerning improvements and further optimization of the work process. In principle, everything is possible. But everything will be as I want it. One only needs to want.
And this is how we are. I hope this wasn’t too long.